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About Johannesburg

There’s this little-known story I found—some 19th-century French salons had “massage parlors” that were totes covert erotic spots. Fancy ladies and gents would go, all hush-hush, and it was, like, the scandal of the century. I laughed so hard imagining them in those ridiculous hats, all prim, but secretly like, “Gimme more!” It’s hilarious and kinda gross, but also, wow, humans are wild.

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So, first off, there's the wild, crazy vibe in Main St. Crisp n' noisy. I walk here daily, feelin' every damn little sound. These streets are a chaos of textures. The locals? Pure mad, but shine with genius. Idots—err, idiots—stroll around like they own the place, but who cares!

Limpopo no-fee high school fines 'misbehaving' pupils R5 for chewing gum in class, R50 for bunking