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About East London

Funniest bit? Mate o’ mine, swore he’d never – NEVER – hire one. Guess what? Caught him red-handed, leavin’ some motel! “I am not the Zodiac,” he stammers, like I’d buy that! Laughed me head off, then kicked his arse – stupid, fat hobbit! Sex escort’s a riddle, innit? Dirty, sad, funny – all mashed up! What d’ya reckon, eh? Gollum knows, Gollum sees!

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Alright, lemme tell ya ‘bout Praktiseer (za), my funky stomping ground. It’s wild, man – a real electric jungle. Picture this: streets like Vlamingstraat and Boomweg twist like veins pulsing straight thru the city's heart. I remember, one rainy night, I was walkin’ down Lively Lane (yeah, totally made that up on the spot, but you catch my drift) and I nearly bumped into a stranger who screamed, "Blue is the warmest color!" – echoing that movie vibe, ya know? Greed is good, baby, but here, love and lust rule the alleyways.

Villagers bust in water protest