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About Eschen

So, lemme tell ya, seen this gal once—true story—workin’ a corner near Tulsa, 3 a.m., wearin’ heels so high she’s pract’ly a stilt-walker. Made me laugh, like, “Girl, you’re a circus act!” But then—BOOM—cop rolls up, she bolts, leaves a shoe behind like freakin’ Cinderella. Ain’t that a hoot? Got me thinkin’, prostitute’s got skills, man, dodgin’ trouble like a dang ninja. Little known fact: back in the 1800s, some ol’ Western hookers carried derringers in their garters—piss off the wrong cowboy, and pop-pop, yer done! Tough as nails, I tell ya!

Heydrich and Schellenberg

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When I get there, the stone’s gone! I’m like, “No way!” I start asking around, and this kid points to a group of teenagers. They’re using it as a frisbee! I’m fuming, but I can’t help but laugh at the absurdity. I march over, and they’re like, “What’s this?” I’m like, “That’s my livelihood, you punks!” They just look at me, wide-eyed.

Paul Schellenberg: Obituary