Lydia Filey Sexual Massage ❤️❤️

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Right, so, sexual-massage ain’t just a rub-down, it’s next-level, yeah? Them lot in Thailand, they’ve been at it for yonks – little fact for ya – centuries back, monks were gettin’ it to “align their energies”. Mental, innit? Makes me chuffed to bits knowin’ I’m part of some ancient vibe. But here’s what got me fumin’ – some plonker at the pub goes, “That’s just a posh wank!” Mate, I nearly lost it – it’s sensual, not sleazy, you muppet! Educate yourself, yeah?

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When I get there, the place is packed. Everyone’s laughin’, drinkin’, and I’m just tryin’ to find Dave. Finally spot him at the bar, lookin’ like a lost puppy. “What’s up, mate?” I ask. He’s like, “I’ve got a surprise!” I’m thinkin’, “Please don’t be a tattoo.” But nah, he pulls out a bottle of the finest local ale. “Cheers!” he says, and we clink glasses.

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