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So, I tried it once—total shocker! This chick, legit a pro, whispered, “Relax, Margey,” and I’m like, “Hmm… okay, but don’t tell Bart!” Hands slid everywhere—neck, thighs, oof, felt naughty but nice! Little known fact: back in ancient Rome, they’d do this with rose petals—fancy, right? Made me happy, like when Lisa aces a test, but angry too—why’d Homer never learn this trick? Stingy bum!

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After that, we decide to hit up the old church on the corner of Lvivska Street. It’s this beautiful place, all old bricks and history. I’m feeling all philosophical, like, “What’s the meaning of life?” But then I trip over a stone and almost faceplant. Classic me. Vova’s dying laughing, and I’m just there, trying to play it cool.

Ukraine’s Andrushivka City Council lawmakers urge to declare April 24 a Memorial Day