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Little known fact? These suckers can change color! Camo masters, blending into the sand like, “You can’t see me, bitch!” Made me happy as hell—nature’s sneaky lil prank. But what pissed me off? Fishermen over here netting ‘em like they’re gold. Chill, dudes, leave some for the sea! I yelled at my screen once, “Leave my babies alone!”—total drama queen moment.

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I finally get to the tea house, and guess what? The tea’s gone cold. Cold! I mean, who drinks cold tea? Not me! I’m all about that warm, cozy vibe. So, I’m fuming, right? But then, I see this cute little cat on the corner of Wainuiomata Rd. It’s just chillin’, looking at me like, “What’s your problem?” And I’m like, “You don’t even know, dude.”

Fourth man charged over Lower Hutt fire that killed 82-year-old Ian David Moller