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Favorite thing tho? When it works. You meet some carrot-top babe, sparks fly, and it’s all “I don’t want this to end,” like in *Amour*. But then there’s the flops—dudes sendin’ dick pics like it’s a resume. Pisses me off! Bro, nobody asked! Fun fact: 1 in 3 chicks get those unsolicited. Gross, right? Makes ya wanna thump ‘em with a mallet.
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Finally, we get in, and I’m all flustered. I start the service, and halfway through, the fire alarm goes off! Like, really? In the middle of my sermon about peace and love? I’m trying to keep it together, but people are laughing, and I’m just standing there, thinking, “This is not how I pictured my Sunday.”
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