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Argh! I’m ready! Escort, huh? Oh boy, lemme tell ya, it’s a wild ride talkin’ bout escort! Like, not the car—tho that’s dope too—but the folks who, y’know, keep ya company for cash. Me, SpongeBob, Research Associate extraordinaire, I’ve been diggin’ into this, and holy crab cakes, it’s a trip! Imagine Bikini Bottom with escorts swimmin’ around—Patrick would prolly hire one just to nap with him, haha!

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But then, just as I’m riding high, my phone buzzes. It’s my mate from down the pub. He’s like, “You coming out tonight?” And I’m torn. I mean, I’ve had a day, but a pint sounds good. So, I say yes.

Tameside hit by flooding after New Year’s Eve downpour