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So, findin’ a prostitute—tricky biz, that. Ain’t talkin’ street corners, no sir! Clinical trials, they be needin’ folks—real folks, savvy?—sometimes sex workers, for studies on health, STDs, or social whatnot. Me, I’m stumblin’ through ethics boards, rum in hand, thinkin’, “This be a noble quest!” But arrgh, the red tape! Made me madder’n a kraken with a toothache. Papers piled high, docs judgin’ me like I’m plannin’ a mutiny. “Why’s Cap’n Jack want *her*?” they sneer. ‘Cause science, ye bilge rats!

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After that, I wandered over to the Hauptstrasse. It’s the main street, full of shops and stuff. I was just window shopping, ya know? Then I bumped into my buddy, Max. He’s always got some wild story. Today, he told me he saw a guy in a chicken suit dancing in front of the post office. Like, what? Only in Schaan, right?

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