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So, sexual-massage—ooh, slippery topic! Not yer grandma’s backrub, nah. It’s sensual, slow, tease ‘n’ release—like Chopin buildin’ to climax, bam! Little secret: Ancient Greeks did it, called it “anatripsis”—fancy, huh? They’d oil up, knead naughty bits, say it heals spirit. Lightbulb! Modern docs say it boosts oxytocin—love juice in yer brain. Made me happy, that! Angry tho—why nobody told Gru sooner? Wasted years!

Nourished Touch

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After my caffeine fix, I head over to the Parque de las Ciencias. I’m a sucker for science stuff. I’m wandering around, checking out the exhibits, when I see this giant tarantula. I freak out! Like, why is that thing so big? I’m not about that life. I’m more of a “look from a distance” kinda person.

Hurricanes are now twice as likely to zip from minor to whopper than decades ago, study says