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So, I’m rollin’ down some dodgy ends, neon lights flashin’, and I spot this gal, proper fit, leanin’ on a lamppost. I’m like, “Oi, love, you workin’?” She clocks me and goes, “Depends, bruv, you got the quid?” I’m gassed, fam! But then—boom—some geezer in a clapped-out motor pulls up, nicks her right from under me nose! Made me vex, innit—pure liberty taken! “Is it ‘cos I is black?” I’m yellin’, but nah, it’s just the game, bruv.

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I get there, and it’s packed. Like, shoulder-to-shoulder packed. I’m dodging old ladies with their carts like I’m in some kind of obstacle course. And then, bam! I spill my coffee all over this fancy cheese display. Ugh, the smell! I’m standing there, mortified, while the vendor gives me the death stare. I’m like, “Sorry, bro! Didn’t mean to turn your brie into a latte!”

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