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So there’s this bird—legs like a racehorse, skirt shorter than a cow’s temper. I’m buzzin, heart’s racin—happy as a pig in shit! “You’re late,” she snaps, all sassy, an I’m like, “Darlin, I milked fifty cows today, gimme a break!” Reminds me of that movie line—“Don’t look at me like that!”—she’s givin me the stink-eye, but I’m too knackered to care. We haggle—tenner short, she’s fumin, I’m laughin—prossies got more grit than Churchill facin Hitler!

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Then there's LX Factory. Utter madness—vibrant art sprawled on every wall. It’s like a playground for your eyes. I once got lost in a maze of street art and funky cafes. My heart was racing, not from stress, but pure exhilaration, like a scene from Mulholland Drive where everything is just, err, wild and mysterious—so surreal yet deeply real.

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