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So I’m stumblin’, lookin’ fer a lass, right? Streets all twisty, dark—like that bit in the movie, “the favela’s a maze, man!” I see this gal, winkin’, smokin’—proper fit, yeah? I go, *mimes walking, trips, waves awkwardly* “Hullooo!” She laughs—bloody hell, I’m red as a lobster! Made me happy, that—silly ol’ me, charmin’ ‘em accidental-like. But then—BAM!—some bloke, her pimp prob’ly, storms up, all “Who’s this prat?!” *mimes dodging a punch, flails* Nearly shat meself!

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But then, outta nowhere, this pigeon swoops down and lands on my shoulder. I freaked out! Like, what’s this bird doing? I’m not a statue! I shook it off, and it flew away. I swear, that pigeon had the audacity of a king. I laughed it off, but man, what a way to start the day.

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