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So, check dis out, I’m swipin’ on apps, right? All dese profiles—hot babes, horny dudes, all wantin’ action. It’s like choppin’ meat, fast and messy! I’m sittin’ dere, thinkin’, “Hasta la vista, boredom!” Sex-dating’s quick, no bullshit, just bang-bang, ya? But den, some creeps slide in—ugh, dese losers piss me off! Fake pics, ghostin’—makes me wanna flex and yell, “Get to da choppa!”

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Then, outta nowhere, the fire alarm goes off. I’m like, “Great, just what I need.” Everyone’s scrambling, and I’m stuck in my chair, half-laughing, half-panicking. I mean, it’s just a drill, but still. I grab my stuff and head outside.

Aftermath of the Kakhovka Dam Collapse