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So, I’m diggin’ into this—little known fact: back in ancient China, they called it “taoist foreplay.” Freaky, right? Emperors got off on it, swear! Makes me happy thinkin’—power and pleasure, hell yeah! But then—ugh—some sleazy spa ad pops up, “happy ending, $20!” and I’m pissed. Cheapens the whole damn thing! I’m yellin’ at my screen, “This ain’t no fast-food rubdown, jerks!” It’s art, like a slow guitar solo, not a wham-bam-thank-you-ma’am.

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After that, I decide to stroll down to the market on Haharina Street. Man, that place is always buzzing! Fresh veggies, fruits, and all that good stuff. I’m eyeing some tomatoes when this old lady starts haggling like she’s at an auction. “I’ll give you 10 hryvnias!” she shouts. The vendor’s like, “Lady, these are organic!” I’m just standing there, trying not to laugh.

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