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Oy, listen up, ya filthy animals! Me, Gru, big bad Refractor—da one and only—here to spill da beans on erotic-massage, ya? Lightbulb! Dis ting, it’s sneaky, like cipher in “Zodiac”—ya know, my fave flick, dat David Fincher masterpiece from 2007. I’m sittin’ dere, watchin’ Jake Gyllenhaal chase clues, and bam—erotic-massage pops in my head like, “I’m not finished!” Ya feel me?

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So, I roll up to the beach, right? It’s a sunny day, perfect for a swim. I’m thinkin’, “Sweet, today’s gonna be chill.” But nah, not in Kerikeri! First off, I’m on duty at the Kerikeri Inlet, and it’s packed. Like, people everywhere. Kids screamin’, parents yellin’, and I’m just tryin’ to keep my cool.

World War II relic found in Kerikeri op shop