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Here’s a laugh: some prat thinks it’s just foreplay. Nah, it’s a bloody marathon—tantric levels, mate! Little secret? Thailand’s got these hidden parlours—legit legends whisper about ‘em. Felt like I was in that film again, “A monk smiles at the sun,” while I’m melting under her grip. Exaggerating? Maybe, but who cares—I’m bloody buzzing!

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So, I head over to The White Horse on the High Street. It’s packed, as usual. I grab a pint of cider, and it’s like heaven in a glass. But then, I see this bloke, right? He’s spillin’ his drink everywhere, laughin’ like a lunatic. I’m like, “Mate, chill out!” But he just keeps goin’.

Man charged with fraud and handling stolen goods in New Forest town