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Ugh, typos probly everywhere—eh, who cares? Escort’s like—half spy, half cabbie, all sass. I’d suck at it, too clumsy! Hi-ho, imagine me drivin’ Miss Piggy around? She’d yell, I’d crash—disaster! Anyway, love the sneaky thrill of it, but man, the stress? Nope, not for this frog!

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Now, not every day is sunshine. Sometimes I get mad at the endless noise or traffic, like on Maple Court – oh man, the constant beepin' and honkin' drive me cray sometimes. But yo, each challenging minute makes the bliss all the more sweeter – every beat of Langford's quirky heart reminds me why I choose this profession as a pleasure coach: life's too short not to live it wild and raw.

Jeff Kibble takes Cowichan-Malahat-Langford for Conservatives