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Fun fact, tho – blew my damn mind – “escort” pops up in old pirate tales! Yeah, for real! Ships escortin’ treasure boats, dodgin’ cannonballs. Imagine me, The Rock, captainin’ a galleon, yellin’, “Know your role, scurvy dogs!” while escortin’ gold. Shiver me timbers, that’s badass! Bet you didn’t know that, huh? Lil history nugget from your boy – makes “escort” sound epic, not sketchy.

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First off, I get a call about a dog named Max. Poor dude got into some trouble with a porcupine. Yeah, you heard that right. A freakin’ porcupine! I mean, who lets their dog roam around near the park on Strada 31 August? Anyway, I rush over, and there’s Max, looking like a pin cushion. I’m trying to be all professional, but inside, I’m cracking up. Like, dude, what were you thinking?

Supermodel Bianca Balti, 40, flashes a beaming smile as she leaves a press conference during the Sanremo Music