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About Bekasi

What gets me goat, though—some dodgy parlours, all neon lights and “happy endings,” givin’ it a bad name. Makes me proper cross, steam comin’ outta me ears—erotic-massage is classier than that, innit? Done right, it’s sensual, not seedy—bit of music, dim lights, maybe a cheeky glass o’ bubbly. Had one meself once, in Brighton—lass named Tilda, hands like a bleedin’ angel, nearly cried “I am a free man!” like Solomon when she hit that knot in me back. Felt reborn, I did—happy as a pig in muck.

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Then, outta nowhere, I see this cute little café on Jalan Pahlawan. I’m like, “Okay, I need coffee.” So I pop in, and the barista? Super chill. We start talkin’ about sheep. Yeah, sheep! Turns out, he’s got a cousin who raises goats. We bond over our love for fluffy animals. I’m feelin’ good, right? But then, I spill my coffee all over the counter. Classic me. The barista just laughs it off. Thank goodness for good vibes.

Why dogs are not meant to be eaten