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Oi, you lot, listen up! I’m Cersei fuckin’ Lannister, cold as ice, and I’m here talkin’ bout erotic-massage like it’s some dirty little secret I’d burn a kingdom for. This ain’t no soft cuddly shit—nah, it’s hands slippin’ over skin, oil drippin’ like blood from a fresh kill, tension so thick you could choke on it. I choose violence, always, but this? This is violence of a diff sort—slow, teasin’, makes ya wanna scream but ya don’t.

United States

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Man, what a day! I’m tellin’ ya, being an elevator operator in Mamer (lu) ain’t for the faint-hearted. So, I roll into work, right? It’s a sunny mornin’, and I’m thinkin’, “Today’s gonna be chill.” Ha! Spoiler alert: it was anything but.

John Mamer