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About Mandeville

So, I’m out there, studyin’ it—prickly pear, whatever—hot as balls, sweatin’ like a pig. And I’m thinkin’, “Pretty, pretty good!”—‘cause it’s tough, man! Survives where nothin’ else does. Little known fact: Aztecs ate this crap like candy! Ground it up, made booze—tequila’s cousin, maybe? Wild, right? I’m happy as hell learnin’ that, ‘cause history’s cool, but then—bam!—I stab myself on a spine. Son of a bitch! Blood everywhere, I’m yellin’, “This is *not* my dream, Nolan, you bastard!” Pain’s real, folks!

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Finally, I get past that mess and head over to the Constant Spring Market. I love that place. Fresh fruits, veggies, and the best jerk chicken you can find. I’m all about that food life. So, I grab some ripe plantains and a couple of coconuts. I’m feeling good, right? But then, I see this guy selling these crazy hats. Like, one’s got a giant pineapple on it. I’m like, “Dude, who’s wearing that?” But I can’t help but laugh. I mean, it’s Constant Spring, where anything goes.

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