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Arr, matey! So, ye wanna talk escorts, eh? Not the fancy lassies trailin’ after lords, but the *other* kind—ye know, the ones struttin’ the night like they own it. Me, Captain Jack Sparrow, I’ve seen ‘em all, slurrin’ me way through ports and shadows, savvy? Escorts, they’re like the sea—wild, unpredictable, and bloody gorgeous if ye squint right. Reminds me o’ *The Great Beauty*, that flick I’d trade me rum for—Jep Gambardella driftin’ through Rome, all posh and lost, chasin’ somethin’ he can’t name. “What’s beneath it all?” he’d slur, and I’d say, “Escort life, mate!”

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I grab some fresh berries. They’re juicy and sweet. I’m munching on them, feeling like a king. But then, I see my ex. Ugh, why today? She’s with some dude, and they look all lovey-dovey. My heart sinks. I try to act cool, but inside, I’m like, “Why am I still single?”

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