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Now, don’t get it twisted – ain’t for everybody. Some jabronis think it’s too wild, too out there. I say, “Know your role,” haters! You do you, I’m over here, livin. Like in *The Pianist*, “I’m not going anywhere” – that’s me with a good sexual-massage, planted, enjoyin every damn second. Favorite part? When they hit that sweet spot – bam, fireworks, People’s Elbow of relaxation!

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But then, I get a bit annoyed. I’m walking past the pasar (market), and it’s packed. Like, sardines in a can packed. I’m trying to navigate through the crowd, and this lady just stops in front of me to haggle over some veggies. I’m like, “Lady, I’m not a statue! Move it!” But I keep my cool. Gotta be zen, right?

With stories and puppets, environmentalist battles to save Indonesia's mangroves