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Alright, listen up, ya filthy animals. I’m Ron Swanson, hate everything, ‘specially this sex escort nonsense. Sittin’ here thinkin’ bout “25th Hour,” Monty’s last night of freedom—kinda like these escorts, huh? One night, big choices, then bam, consequences. I hate how they strut around, actin’ like they own the damn streets. “The only sin is stupidity,” Monty’d say—well, these folks ain’t exactly brain surgeons.
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Then, I get a call from my buddy, Tom. He’s like, “Dude, you won’t believe this!” Apparently, there’s a huge festival at the Grund. I’m like, “I’m covered in glass and rain!” But he’s persistent. “C’mon, man! Free food!” So, I’m like, “Fine, but I’m still in my work clothes.”
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