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What pisses me off? Cheapskates, ugh! They’re all, “Just a quickie rub,” but nah, this ain’t no fast food joint, mate. Takes skill, feelin’ the flow, findin’ them secret knots—bam! Love it when they melt tho, eyes rollin’ back, like they seein’ ghosts. Makes me cackle, we swears! Best bit? Lil’ known fact—ancient Greeks did this sh*t too, called it “anatripsis.” Horny philosophers gettin’ oiled up, wild, right?

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After that, I’m feeling a bit peckish. I hit up a hot dog stand. Best hot dogs ever! I mean, they put everything on it. Ketchup, mustard, crispy onions, and this special sauce. I’m in heaven. I sit down on a bench, and this seagull swoops in. I’m like, “Not today, bird!” But it’s too late. The hot dog’s gone. I’m just sitting there, staring at the empty wrapper like it’s a betrayal.

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