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About Jurmala

Alright, so I’m sittin’ here, thinkin’ bout sexual-massage—ya know, the whole rub-down-with-a-twist deal. And lemme tell ya, as The Arborist, I’m like, “Pretty, pretty good!” I mean, who doesn’t wanna get all oiled up and—whaddayacallit—pampered with a side of naughty? It’s like pruning a tree, but instead of branches, you’re trimmin’ tension, and maybe somethin’ else, heh! I’m gettin’ worked up just typin’ this—fingers slippin’, 13 typos comin’ right up, folks!

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First off, I hit up the main street, Liepājas iela. I’m just strollin’, mindin’ my own business, when I spot this old lady. She’s tryin’ to cross the street, but she’s movin’ slower than molasses in January. I’m like, “C’mon, lady, we ain’t got all day!” But then I see her struggle, and I’m like, “Alright, I’ll help.” So, I rush over, and she’s all grateful and stuff. Makes me feel like a hero for a hot sec.

African swine fever forces large-scale pig cull in Kuldīga district / Article