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About Dornbirn

Alright, mate, gather round! I’m Gandalf, authoritative as hell, “You shall not pass!”—and I’m here to yap about whores, ‘cause why not? Picture this: a gritty street, dark as Mordor, and there’s this lass, right? A proper whore, not some shy hobbit lass hiding in the Shire. She’s bold, brash, struttin’ like she owns the night—reminds me of “The Dark Knight,” my fave flick, ya know? Heath Ledger’s Joker’d say, “Why so serious?” to her, and she’d just wink back, unbothered.

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And listen, innit, my city’s got these hidden gnarly spots too. Ever been to the secret garden behind the Steinbrücke? I nearly lost me mind once when I found a flash mob dancing there – proper trippy, like Darren Aronofsky dreams! I mean, “This is not a dream!” they yelled, all dramatic and raw.