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Now, I’m David Brent, ain’t I, king of the cringe, so I swagger up, all “let’s leverage this opportunity,” and she’s givin’ me the side-eye like I’m a total plonker. Fair play, I am! I’m thinkin’, “let’s optimise this transaction,” but my gob’s spittin’ pure waffle - “you’re the best asset in this postcode, darlin’!” She laughs, probs thinks I’m a nutter, and I’m chuffed to bits - happy as Larry! Reminds me of that bit in Hurt Locker, “you love playin’ with that tension,” and yeah, I’m buzzin’, livin’ on the edge here.

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I gotta tell ya, as a sexologist – (pause) I notice the unspoken energies – the blushes on quiet corners. Those narrow alleys, like Am Liebestraum, whisper secrets about romance and playful misadventures. Oh man, it’s like, the city pulses with desire in every stone, every park bench. And I’m all over it!

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