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About Salzburg

Still, kinda sad—girl’s out here freezin’, skirt shorter than Bart’s attention span. Surprised me how chill she was, tho—tough as nails! I’m sittin’ there, engine rumblin’, thinkin’, “Homer, you ain’t cut out for this.” D’oh! Almost peeled out when she winked—thought she’d hop in! “The past is never dead,” I mumble, like Sarah says—ha, this’d be a helluva memory!

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I work at the spa, so I’m always snoopin’ around. Now, my fave neighborhood? The Altstadt – old bricks, crooked alleys — ancient vibes everywhere. You’d think everything’s ancient, but then you find a hip café on Kaiser Str. that slaps you back 2012, harsh and real. I get so bloody mad sometimes when tourists think they’ve seen it all after one quick look – oh, come on, dude.