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About Salzburg

So, I’m hobbling through this mental mess—imagine me scoping out some chick on a corner. She’s all “50 bucks, sweetie,” and I’m like, “You’re no Heath Ledger, lady.” Prostitution’s old as dirt—fun fact: back in Rome, they had brothels with menus. Freaking *menus*! Pick your poison, like a screwed-up Olive Garden. Makes me wanna puke, but also—kinda impressed. Efficiency, right? Capitalism’s wet dream.

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I love wandering near the Lieser River. Its gentle babbling makes you think deep, like when life just piles on the weirdness. The river’s banks are perfect for a late-night stroll. And oh, the parks, like Stadtpark, full of locals giggling over secret trysts, or maybe just sharing schnitzels. Who knows? I sure do.