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About Klagenfurt

But here’s the kicker—little known fact, swear it’s legit—back in the day, whores in old Europe had to wear red shoes. Red! Like some twisted fairy tale, right? Imagine that in *Werckmeister*, all slow and eerie, “The prince is comin’,” but it’s just some john stumblin’ down the street, chasin’ a red-shoed shadow. Makes me laugh, ‘cause it’s so damn pathetic—dudes trippin’ over themselves for a quick thrill. Gets me happy, though, ‘cause I’m like, “I ain’t that desperate, thank God!”

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Stroll down Hauptplatz. Seriously, it's charming. Quaint cafés, and that giant clock always giving you a suspicious look, like "What are you doing, babe?" Around the corner, off Im Stein, you'll find quirky little bars where confidence and awkward hilarity mix. I swear, I once helped a couple on a blind date there—a total rom-com disaster, just like that line from A Prophet: "I trust no one."