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Spring Breakers tho—“Look at my shit!”—that’s the mood. Hella bravado, zero chill. Findin’ a prostitute’s got that same edge. You’re not just payin’ for the act, you’re buyin’ the story. The rush. The “I did that” flex. Pro tip: cash only, no Venmo trail—duh. Oh, and don’t be a simp—set terms upfront. Basic negotiation protocol.

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There are these quirky nooks around the old Rathausplatz where I’ve had epic chats with locals. They all say, "Puntigam’s got soul, man!" And ya know what? True that, brother. Every massage session, every step on these cobbled streets, it's all like I'm performing a high-flying move in a ring of life.

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