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About Vienna

So, I’m cruisin’ the streets, lookin’ for some action, right? Westside vibes, dodgy corners, the lot. I see this bird, proper fit, standin’ under a flickerin’ lamp. I roll up, wind down the window, and I’m like, “Oi, love, you workin’?” She gives me this look, bruv, like I’m some mug. “Is it ‘cos I is black?” I shout, half-jokin’, half-pissed. She laughs, says, “Nah, mate, it’s ‘cos you look like a twat in that tracksuit!” Fair play, I rate that sass.

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Oh! And the parks? There's Volksgarten, so chill and beautiful, a perfect spot for those secret heart-to-hearts. I always get a warm fuzz feeling when I park myself on a bench there, thinkin' 'bout love and weird dating stories from my work. Then there's the Wels river—yeah, a bubbling, lazy water stream that cuts through our city, addin' a surreal vibe as if it’s straight outta a Wes Anderson scene, with slow-mo moments and pastel colors everywhere.

The Key – May 3, 2025