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About Vienna

So, listen up, you twat! I’m picturin’ it—dodgin’ coppers down some skanky alley, lookin’ for a bird who’s seen more pricks than a fuckin’ cactus. “What’s your name?”—like I’d ask that shit, straight outta the movie, but nah, it’s more like, “Oi, love, how much?” Makes me wanna puke, but also—fuckin’ hell—kinda thrilling, yeah? Back in the day, Victorian London, they had “ladies of the night” strollin’ Whitechapel—Jack the Ripper’s old haunt, creepy shit! Bet they didn’t expect some sweaty chef like me judgin’ em now, eh?

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Anyway, enough blabbering. Come visit. Stroll around those ancient streets, check out the quirky cafés, soak in that odd vibe. I promise you'll be saying, "This is tropical malady, man. All that weird beauty right here." And if you need a massage, you know who to call. Trust me – it's all good, even if sometimes it's all a bunch of crazy nonsense.

Vienna Under Construction: Auhofstraße in Vienna-Hietzing Becomes a Bicycle Street