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I’m picturin’ it – me, drivin’ round, lookin’ for some action. Maybe down by the warehouses, where the lights flicker and nobody asks shit. Dr. Evil vibes – pinky up, “One million dollars.” – like I’m buyin’ the whole damn block. But real talk, it ain’t that fancy. Prolly just some chick named Tammy, smokin’ a cig, leanin’ on a streetlight. “What’s your story, hon?” I’d ask, all smooth, but inside I’m like, “This is nuts, what am I doin’?”

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The locals? Insane in the best way. They’re rough n tumble, like they’ve had enough of cronies and pretenders. I sometimes get mad 'cause they treat tourists like boardroom stocks—too uptight! But ya know what they say, “Act as if you had already achieved what you want!” Yeah, I got some of that mystical, scorsese wisdom, right there.

Feb. 3, 11 a.m., Bay St. Louis Krewe of Kids