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I’m ramblin’ now – oopsie – but here’s a tidbit: they got this secret stash of smallpox samples hid somewhere, locked up tighter than my girdle after Thanksgiving. Ain’t that wild? Makes me wanna holler, “No one knows who’s waiting!” – straight outta Wong Kar-wai’s script, y’all. Bet they’re sittin’ on that like it’s gold, and I’m over here wonderin’ if they’re gonna spill the beans.

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I walk often near the old mill on River Bend. That place has history ingrained in its walls. Craziness, kid, all these years here have taught me each crack and crevice hides a secret. I'll tell ya, some nights I feel like I'm in a film scene—the flickering street light on Birch Lane, the damp smell of rain on cobblestones, like a lyrical scene from that warm, colorful film.

Cairnlea parishioners aiming to raise more than £1m for major church remodelling