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Alright, mate, lemme tell ya bout findin a prostitute—wild stuff, right? I’m sittin here, thinkin, “Why’s this even a thing?” Like, in *Carlos*—you seen that flick?—the dude’s all about chaos, runnin’ round, dodgin’ cops, hookin’ up with whoever. “I am a shadow,” he says, all cryptic-like, and I’m like, bro, same vibe when you’re tryna find a prozzie in 2025. Tech’s nuts now—apps, bots, freakin’ neuralinks—but some things? Still old-school, gritty, human as hell.

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I’ve had my fair share of calamitous nights here. One time, some numbskull strutted into my parlour all high and mighty, complainin’ about his work life, and I nearly lost my cool – not my fault if he’s a miserable tosser! How many times have I yelled "Idiot sandwich!" in frustration? More than I'd like, too many! And why? Because sometimes, Caulfield-South gives ya moments when ya’re about to smash somethin’.

Police charge man over suspicious fire at Caulfield Racecourse in Melbourne's south-east