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About Newcastle

Once saw this lass, right, fishnets ripped, smokin’ a cig like she owned the night. Made me laugh—ha! “We needs it, precious!” I thinks. But nah, it’s grim—dudes leerin’, all sweaty, made me mad as hell. Why’s it gotta be so skeevy? Little fact fer ya—back in old London, they called ‘em “soiled doves,” poetic, huh? Sounds nicer than it is! We hates it—filthy coins changin’ hands, like some stinkin’ goblin trade.

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The locals? They’re rough 'n tumble, but with hearts of gold. "We swears" they love a good story. Sometimes you hear folks gossipin' on Rustlers Road – yep, that name exists somehow – about secret trysts behind the old cinema that still shows Richard Linklater classics. Crazy, right?

Cotswolds town named one of best places to live in the UK