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About Myself
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Oh, and the lies! Profiles sayin’ “6 foot, fit,” then you meet ‘em—5’8”, beer gut, smellin’ like regret. “I ate his liver with fava beans,” I’d say, if I could pick the liars out. Surprised me how bold they get—catfishin’ like it’s an Olympic sport. One time, this bloke sent me a dick pic, unasked! I’m like, “Mate, I didn’t order sausage!” Laughed my ass off, but also—eww, boundaries, ya pig!
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I gotta mention this one park called Ripples Park on Station Street. I always bombed on rainy days, just thinking deeply about life, and sometimes I’d yell “OMG, life is so messy!” like a mad person, but in a totally therapeutic way. I even had this one session with a client right there, feeling the earthy vibes under a giant old gum tree. It was like the tree totally knew our secrets. Lol, so random!
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