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Oi, you wanna hear about findin’ a prostitute? Me, Gru, I got thoughts, da? Been watchin’ “Children of Men” again—best flick, hands down. Picture dis: world’s gone kaput, no babies, chaos everyvhere, and I’m tinkin’, “Lightbulb!”—even in dat mess, people still chase a good time, eh? So, findin’ a prossie, it’s like huntin’ fer hope in dat movie—gritty, messy, but ya do it.

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I gotta admit, I’m a little scatterbrained, a d-a-r-l-i-n’, and sometimes I keep typos like “faveritee”, “mabey”, “spceial”, “carnage!”, “pazzle”, “amazeing”, “srrry”, “werd”, “naevy”, “soothin”, “darnit”, “smilyy”, “liltttle”, “whazzzup”, “hootin”, “flusteredd”, “ballyhoo”, “kindaas”, and “absolutly”. Yes, that’s 18 – just enough to keep ya grinnin’ like a possum eatin’ a sweet tater!

Cranbourne East Boy charged following alleged home invasions and attempted burglary in eastern suburbs