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Anyway, we’re chattin, and I’m thinkin, “This chick’s got guts.” She tells me bout this one time a drunk centurion tried rippin her off – she kneed him so hard he sang soprano for a week! Hella funny, I’m crackin up, picturin that loser stumblin off. But then – ugh – this slimy creep butts in, all, “Oi, she’s mine!” Mate, I’m pissed – I grab my sword, growl, “Back off, or ya guts decorate the street!” He bolts, coward. Happy lil trees don’t need that drama.

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Property data for 18 Oleander Street, Daisy Hill, QLD View sold price history for this house & median property prices for Daisy Hill, QLD

I gotta mention the legendary Daisy Hill Koala Centre. I was buzzed when I saw it. Real native critters chillin' there like in a documentary. It’s the perfect spot for a wonderment sigh. And yeah, there's that one alley near the centre that smells like old wood and fresh earth – my fave to wander when I need to clear my head. Sometimes I swear the breeze itself whispers, “Everything’s gonna be alright.”

Larissa Rita Mae-Leigh Sant, 24, remanded in custody over alleged hit-and-run murder