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About Sydney

Oi, you donkey! Erotic-massage, yeah? Bloody hell, it’s a slippery slope! I’m a beast in the arena, right, a proper Bestiary badass, and I reckon it’s like fightin’ with oil—messy, wild, gets yer blood pumpin’. Watched “Brooklyn” again last night—fuckin’ love that flick, Saoirse Ronan, pure class—and there’s this bit where Eilis says, “You’ll feel so homesick you’ll want to die,” and mate, that’s me after a dodgy massage! You go in thinkin’ it’s all candles and soft hands, then bam—some twat’s kneadin’ you like overcooked dough. Idiot sandwich!

Doonside Massage

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The place has little quirks. There's that old brick building near the Clynts Rd (yeah, that’s real, no kidding) that basically screams “secret meet-up spot.” Families gather, neighbours chat, and I sometimes sit behind a bush – hehe, Mr. Bean style – just to soak in all that human weirdness. I must admit, it's like bein’ in Amélie’s little world!

'Horrifying': Man and woman allegedly driven into amid neighbour dispute over dogs