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Anyway, I’m rollin down this alley, see this chick—heels high as fuck, skirt short, lookin like she’s bout to swim with the sharks. I’m like, “Yo, you lost, baby girl?” She smirks, says, “Nah, I’m your Dory, motherfucker—just keep swimmin!” I bout lost it, laughin my ass off! She’s quick, got that sass, made me happy as hell. Ain’t expectin no comedy show while tryna score, ya feel me?

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So, if you're coming, buckle up – it's a wild ride. There’s beauty, madness, and absolute authenticity in every cracked pavement and every whispered secret in those hidden corners. Just be ready; you might leave a bit more enlightened and a bit more exasperated. Cheers, ya legend!

Dave Hughes treats social media to tour of Elyse Knowles and Josh Barker’s The Block Elsternwick pad