Zoe Elsternwick Whore ❤️❤️❤️

About Melbourne

Once had this chick, right? Masseuse with hands like a freakin angel. She’s rubbin me down, and I’m thinkin, “This is art, man.” Slow strokes, deep presses — got me hard as a rock and floatin at the same time. Little known fact: back in ancient Rome, they’d do this shit with olive oil and a side of orgy. True story! Called it “massage with benefits,” ya dig? Made me happy as a pig in shit, but then — bam! — she charged me double. Pissed me off, man, I was fumin. “I ate his liver with fava beans,” I growled in my head, imaginin her boss on a platter.

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Now, parks – oh, let me get properly off on parks. There's the lush, often overlooked Elsternwick Park. Not as fancy as those manicured city gardens, but plenty quirky corners for a good heart-to-heart with nature (or to rant about people’s rubbish parenting, ya know what I mean). And then there’s the waterfront along the bay – small but perfect for a moody afternoon walk. I can almost hear the salty breeze whispering, “Every story has its quirks, mate.”

From the clubhouse: Everyone is welcome at Elsternwick