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About Melbourne

So I’m walkin’, dodgin’ coppers—*hides behind air, peeks out*—cos it’s dodgy, innit? Last thing I need’s a fine, blokes’d never let me live it down. Saw this one gal, tho, swear she winked at me! *blinks too hard, stumbles* Heart’s racin’, I’m thinkin’, “Is this it? Am I in?!” But nah, she’s just hawkin’ chips. Gutted, mate. *slumps, kicks at ground* Reminds me of that line, “You’re a very hip person!”—sarcastically, cos I’m a right muppet here.

Hookers in Eltham

I love how every turn in Eltham surprises ya. Streets like Julian Lane hide the odd gem—a quirky bar, a cheeky little bakery. I mean, c'mon, who doesn't love a good pie? Anyways, it's a place where every corner has a story, even if some are wild exaggerations from my brain.

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