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Precious, yesss, we talks about findin’ a prossie in Russia, don’t we? Hiss! Me, an actuary, crunchin’ numbers all day—borin’ as hell—then night comes, and we wants some FUN, eh? Gollum knows, yesss, we knows the dark streets, the whispers. In Russia, it’s tricky, see? Prostitution’s illegal, but oh, they’re everywhere—sneaky, like rats! Hiss! You don’t just stroll up and say, “Hey, gimme a gal!” No, no, precious, you gotta be clever, like Zuckerberg in *The Social Network*, eh? “You don’t get to 500 million friends without makin’ a few enemies”—or a few shady deals, heh!

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Let me tell ya, this town is magic. There’s the quirky little sidewalk cafes near King St. where I used to share stories as a counceler (yeah, I might have a few typos: counceler, thang, beautifull, heckin, whaat, shcool, reall, energys, throught, kinda, awsome, nuffin, liek, defanate, realy, amazin, and unforgetable). I went there after a rough day and it saved me, like Timbuktu said, "They will hold us to ransom." Crazy, huh?

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