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About Melbourne

Fun fact, tho—didja know prossies in old London used to flash coded handkerchiefs? Red fer yes, blue fer no—like traffic lights, ha! *waves imaginary hanky, drops it* Wish it were that easy now, eh? I’m flappin’ about, all nervous, mutterin’ to meself, “Don’t cock this up, Bean!” *slaps forehead* Oh, and the prices these days? Robbery! *pretends to hand over cash, falls over* Fifty quid for a quickie? I’d rather buy a kebab!

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So, like, I've been here for a few years now in this hidden gem, and lemme tell ya – my daily grind eases my client’s pain, but this city eases my soul. Its rhythm is all over the joint. Check out Brindle Park, a tiny green patch with a creek that just flows and flows. That creek, man, it's both calm and rebellious. It reminds me of, “The past is never dead... it isn’t even past.” So deep, right?

Reform sweep to victory across councils in local elections