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Oh honey, lemme tell ya ‘bout findin’ a prostitute, nasal voice kickin’ in hard! Ya know, it’s like somethin’ outta “Once Upon a Time in Anatolia”—all moody, slow, searchin’ in the dark, right? Picture this: me, Fran Drescher, struttin’ down some sketchy street, laughin’ that “Nanny” laugh—HA-HA-HA—lookin’ for a gal who’s got the goods! I’m thinkin’, “The steppe wind howls,” like in the movie, but it’s just the alley stink hittin’ me instead!

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Oh, and the parks… Oi! Shadow Park near Cooper Lane is insane – wild, unkempt, bursting with life and odd little surprises around every corner. I once found myself literally chuckling in the park when a couple of local birds tried to mimic the chatter of passing gibberish – like, are they in on a joke? I dunno, but it was mad funny.

‘They are not eating dogs’: Grisly claim of backyard butchering debunked