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About Wollongong

So, I’m stumblin’ downtown, 3 a.m., buzzin’ off cheap vodka—prostitute quest ON. Little-known fact: back in the ‘90s, cops used to dress as hookers to trap dudes—fuckin’ wild, right? Imagine me, hollerin’ at some chick, “Hey, baby, you workin’?” and it’s Officer fuckin’ McGrady. I’d lose my damn mind, laughin’ and cryin’, “This is my fate!” like the dad in “The Return” when shit hits the fan.

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There’s a lovely little river near the center – Crystal Creek. I often wander along its banks after a busy spa day. There’s a story there – that old bridge on Riverside Road hides secrets. I once heard a tale from an old timer about how the water sparkles like diamonds during the golden hour. Crazy, right? Makes you feel like you're in a movie scene, hilarious and deep at once.

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